Five ways to be the most attractive you ever!
Valentine’s Day is not far off! (and we just got over Christmas.. !) You may be married, attached or joyfully single. You may just be getting to know someone, you might be online dating, or hoping to meet a special someone at your new gym or in the frozen food aisle of the supermarket! You might be conjuring up the perfect Valentine's gift for your partner, or for yourself! (we got some perfect Valentines gift sets to solve that one - read on!)
But, wherever you are (or aren’t) on the dating and relationship trajectory, one thing we all wonder about ourselves in quiet moments is.. ‘am I attractive’?
What does 'attractive' mean? Exclusively attractive to a potential romantic partner? Looks? No. Because attractiveness is much, much more than that. Are people at work drawn to us, do people enjoy being around us? Can we command a room when we walk in? Do people ‘notice’ us for ‘something’ they can't quite pinpoint?
It’s not about physical attraction, or looks, or clothes .. It’s about an aura .. of something.
Want to know what they have? Read on.
The five key habits of naturally attractive people
We all know someone like this.They are not necessarily the best looking or the best dressed or the smartest person in the room. But they have something special. You have a little crush on them, or wish you could be like them. And everyone else wants to be around them too.
What is that thing they’ve got? And how do you get some of that?
Good news is, you can! Yep, you read that right.
Naturally charming and likeable people all have certain qualities that, with practice, you can have too.
And we have the list right here!
1 Their inner narrative allows them to believe in themselves.
If you don’t believe you deserve it, why would anyone else?
We’re great at telling ourselves all the reasons why we won’t get that job, or meet that person, or reach that fitness goal.
But what about the reasons we should achieve what we want? The law of attraction says we get what we focus on. Practice a positive mindset.
It’s confidence. It’s not arrogance, or walking into a room like you’re the best thing since sliced bread. It’s about inner confidence in yourself, in others and in situations.
A quiet, confident belief that good things are happening. Because you expect them to. This type of confidence is an infinitely attractive trait. If you have it, people respond well to you. Social interaction goes well, feels good and guess what? Good things happen!
If you believe good things will happen when you meet another person, they pick up on that positive energy too. When something you say or do makes someone smile, or lights up their face it feels great.
Turning this into a natural habit takes practice.
Write down the reasons why you should get the job, or why that person will like you. When you ‘internalise’ the positives, situations are easier to deal with even if you don’t get the result you want.
Each day, notice when you make someone smile, or when people react well to something you said. When you do this, you are training your brain to see positive traits in yourself. You are seeing the best in you.
And when you do, others do too. You will give off that appealing quality you are drawn to in others.
2 They are mindful and ‘present’
That amazing person doesn’t just mindlessly float around being incredible, you know. They think. They are mindful of their presence and others.
It's normal to get a little nervous or stressed before a new situation or meeting new people. But being nervous and fearful doesn’t show us in our best light. Mindfully preparing yourself for the situation is not only incredibly valuable, it is respectful to the people or the situation you are meeting.
Attractive people make others feel valued and respected.
Always stop and take a little time. Breathe and focus on positives. Call it a ‘mini meditation’ if you like. Meditation lowers stress levels, and anxiety, impulsiveness and worry, all of which often lead to social blunders which can be hard to recover from. Awkward!
Being mindful for just a few moments before social situations strengthens your mental strength and focus, creativity, and memory. These are all qualities which are key to good conversation and building relationships. Do mini meditations throughout the day, or take 20 minutes to meditate every day and the positive energy will flow out – and back in again!
People will be attracted to your natural inner calm and self-assurance. If you’re calm, they are calm. It flows.
3 They do what they want.
Seriously – do exactly what you want. It’s not selfish – it’s real. Here’s the psychology of this.
If you spend your time doing things because you feel you should, you are really seeking validation from other people and trying to please everyone. This is a one way dynamic. It doesnt have ‘flow’.
When you do the things you want to, you are a happier, more well-rounded, content and interesting person. And you will naturally bring much more to the table, as it were. Your conversation will be brighter, more giving, interesting and inspiring. You’ll be smiling. Instant attraction point right there.
Instead of half-heartedly doing what all your group does, be madly passionate about your own pursuits. Be it skydiving, knitting or walking the dog. It doesn't matter. If you love it, your passion shines through.
And nothing is more attractive than the person who is genuinely having a great time in life.
Don’t get wrapped up in needing to be liked all the time. Amazing people are liked because they are having a great time, doing what they love. Seriously, they don’t need your ‘likes’ because those guys already like themselves. These people are infectious.
4 They listen.
The most charming and likeable people are the true listeners.
They make your heart skip when they remember something you said – because they genuinely listened to you. It’s an old-school trait that knocks us out with its politeness and good grace.
Focus on that person you’re talking to. Stop the nervous gabbling. We overtalk because we’re trying so hard to create a connection, but when we gabble we don’t listen. Think about them - notice something and give a genuine compliment. Consider what you'd genuinely like to know about them and ask them questions about themselves.
And, on the flip side, when they ask you something, be real. Accept that you are interesting and people will want to know about you. Give them a genuine answer. Keep it light but be you.
It’s in listening that you can truly understand a person and what makes them tick. And when someone feels like you really ‘get’ them – it's powerful. They love you for it.
A listener has an open mind. They have empathy and they know how to connect. They will draw people to them like no one else.
5 They get over it (and practice acceptance)
We established you’re not perfect. Join the club. And get this – not everyone is going to love you all the time. That can be disheartening, or it can be totally liberating. If you want to be liberated, practice ‘acceptance’.
If you spend your time agonising over why that person didn’t melt in your presence, you’re in for a long and difficult ride, my friend!
And you are training your brain to see only the negatives. When you face a rejection, it is rarely about your defects. Sometimes, personalities or agendas just don’t blend. That’s life – not a personal failure.
People with natural attractiveness don’t carry a burden of failure around with them. And that is very appealing.
Instead, they accept that one size does not fit all, and they move on.
The ironic thing about being a truly, deeply appealing or attractive person is they know they’re not perfect for everybody and that doesn't overly bother them, because they like themselves regardless. And conversely, showing that you understand difference, empathy and that not everything has to go your way - is very attractive.
Physical looks have little to do with true attractiveness. You will not find it in a jar, or a new outfit. It’s in the soul! The most important relationship you have is with you. Work on that. With practice, you will get it to a happy place. You will start to notice ‘flow’. And when you do 1- 5 above become natural habits. Congrats! You are now that amazing person in the room. Go get ‘em!
Here's our pick of perfect Valentines Day gifts - a perfect gift for your partner, your mum, your sister .. or just for you. Because you're fab, and you deserve it!
Our perfect Valentines treat! Mini Luxury Winter Skin Care Set.
Give our Glorious Scents Gift set to someone you love. All organic and natural scents to stir the senses.
A very special, small and thoughtful gift from Ameile Hope Crystals